Story Time at Lincoln House comes in one of two forms: the Red-Hot Read from "Cosmo" and the crime report from our neighborhood newspaper. The crime report has been very disappointing ever since the string of people being punched in the head and my personal favorite, a woman getting hit with a tree branch and mugged at 3 p.m. on a Saturday afternoon on the corner of our street. Our neighborhood is extremely busy on summer Saturday afternoons, so the fact that someone was brave enough to heft a branch into someone's face and snatch her purse in broad daylight is pretty impressive. Also, a woman once hand-cuffed her dog to a street sign while she went into McDonald's.
In any case, when the paper arrived last week I was pleasantly surprised by the following gems and proceeded to read/recite them to everyone I came in contact with for the next few days. Gather 'round, children, Aunt Kathy's got a yarn to spin...
1) Burglary: Two garages on the 1200 and 1300 blocks of F-------- Avenue were burglarized between midnight and 8 a.m. Thursday, January 27. Change was stolen from the vehicles inside. The garage doors had been unlocked.
2) Theft: Car wash tokens were stolen from a vehicle on the 1800 block of B----- Avenue between noon and midnight Saturday, January 29.
and the greatest caper of all time:
3) Theft: Three teriyaki chicken sandwiches were stolen from the Subway in S----- Plaza at 8:00 p.m. Monday, January 17.
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